Are You Really Listening?
Chalk it up to short attention spans, instantaneous everything and ultra-busy lives, but we just don’t have time to listen any more. Consider that most of us speak about 120 to 180 word per minute and think at four or five times that rate. So our attention wanders, and we only pick up about half of what the other person is saying.
• Listen with your whole self. Block out all other distractions. And show you’re listening with good eye contact, an encouraging nod, and by not tapping your fingers or feet.
• When the conversational ball bounces into your corner, don’t feel you’ve got to hang on to it — bounce it back. A good listener has the ability to make the person speaking feel like the most important person on earth.
• Help draw the other person out by posing brief comments or questions that show you’re really listening.
• Develop a sensitivity for what is left unsaid in most messages — the inner thoughts that words often hide. Even with those we love most, it’s easy to hear only the words and miss the real message.
• Listen without being judgmental. By handing down judgments instead of listening, we’re effectively cutting off all lines of communication.
