Even people in healthy relationships fight sometimes.  But it’s HOW you fight that makes a difference.

A pair of psychologists who’ve been married 35 years came up with a list of the phrases people in good relationships tend to use a lot.  They grouped them into six different categories . . .

1.  “I feel” statements.  You don’t have to start with those exact words.  It’s just about expressing emotions.  Things like, “I’m getting scared” . . . “That hurt my feelings” . . . or “I feel like you don’t understand me right now.”

2.  “I need to calm down.”  It’s about taking a breath.  Other examples include, “This is important to me, please listen” . . . and “Can I have a hug?”

3.  Stop actions.  It’s similar to the last one.  Phrases like, “Let’s start again” . . . “Can we take a break and talk about something else?” . . . and “I might be wrong.”

4.  Getting to “yes.”  Phrases that validate the other person and help you meet halfway.  Things like, “I agree with part of what you’re saying” . . . “I see where you’re coming from” . . . and, “I think your point of view makes sense.”

5.  Expressing your appreciation.  Lines like, “I understand” . . . “Thank you for saying that” . . . and “I love you.”

6.  “I’m sorry.”  Or even just admitting you’re not perfect.  Phrases like, “I was being extreme” . . . “I can see my part in all this” . . . and “Sorry, let me try again.”

(CNBC)